two things

1. My cousin Ari got her mission call to Melbourne Australia! She goes May 14, and I get to go down and see her off in Provo. My roommate Caitlin also got her mission call to Frankfurt Germany and leaves July 9.
2. My little sister Anne is having a CAT scan today to see if they can find out the source of her migraines. She's 17, and they've tried all the usual migraine treatments, and nothing seems to work, so her doctor thinks something more serious may be wrong. Please pray for her.

Why am I screwed? Here's the list....

• I'm drowning in school work. Literally. I shouldn't be writing this, because I need to be writing one of my three research papers going on right now (not counting the one I turned in on Tuesday) or studying chemistry.
  
• I am 100% broke. I don't know how I'm going to pay my rent, and I have no food. I've been having to take time off work to work on projects, so I'm not making as much as I need.
• I'm trying to claim/withdraw some money I "earned" for doing well on those standardized tests in high school from the state of California, so I can pay my rent, and buy food, but apparently, in high school I didn't know my social security number, so my withdrawal form got rejected, so I've been trying to get a hold of the person I need to talk to about finding out what number they have as my social, but she's out of the office every time I call, and she only calls back when I'm in class, so I call her back, and she's out.
• I'm going to get a C in a class I thought I was going to ace because it's interesting, but it's online, and since I had so much to do, I forgot about the twelve page research paper on ethnic struggles in Sudan worth 25% of my grade until Monday, the day before it was due, researched and wrote as much as I could, got no (literally, zero) sleep, called into work, skipped class, and only got four and a half pages before I literally could not write anymore on the subject. They were good four and a half pages, but I only got about 25% on the paper. I should know better than to take online classes. If I don't have a schedule I forget about things, and since I don't go to that class every day or even every week, or, well, ever, I forget about a lot, and unfortunately, that time, it really hurt me.
• I got a letter from the school last week telling me I have to petition to remain a student, because they have this stupid credit limit. So I can't register for my class I need this summer until I have the petition done, but I if I take the time to go see all the people I need to see to get my petition approved, it'll take all day, I won't get my homework done, and then I'll bomb my classes, and then I'll get kicked out anyways.
• My medication isn't keeping up with my stress and I don't have time to go to my doctor and get my dosage upped, or go see my counselor, or even just talk to anyone. Talking takes time I don't have. I don't even have time to take my stress walk around the park.
  
• I've gotten less than ten hours of sleep this week.
• My room is a disaster area, but again, no time to clean it, which stresses me out more, because I can't find anything. I hate that I become a slob when I'm stressed, but being a slob stresses me out.
• I'm throwing a little party Saturday afternoon for all the people from Ridgecrest, which I organized and invited people to before I realized how much I have to do this weekend. I don't have time to catch up, and I don't have time to make food, and I just don't have time!
  
• I need to go to the eye doctor, because I've been having to wear my glasses a lot the last few weeks because my eyes have been too tired to take my contacts, which gives me headaches, because my glasses are a couple prescriptions old and while they work for reading in bed, I can't focus on the board in class anymore. I feel like I'm in first grade again and can't see the spelling words on the chalkboard. The point is, I need new glasses. But, again, I don't have time, and I don't have a eye doctor here and there's not time to make an appointment with my one in Reno for when I go home in two and a half weeks, not to mention that I'll only be home for a few days and don't want to make the three hour trip to Reno while I'm there.
• My brother is having some serious problems lately. It's not directly me, but he has some behavioral disabilities, and they've been causing him some difficulties. Nothing as dramatic as what happened last year with his school and the padded room, but enough to make me worry about him. He's my best pal and my baby brother.
  
• Roommate drama. One of my roommates hates me, and the feeling's pretty much mutual, and it makes being at home tense. And don't tell me to be patient or talk to her about it or ignore her or whatever, I've tried all that, and it doesn't help.

Ok, I'm going to quit complaining and stressing before I start bawling/give myself an anxiety attack, and give up for the night, and go to bed. Maybe things will look better in the morning.

I'm screwed. So screwed.

That's all.

Happy Easter Everyone!

Sorry for the lack of posts lately, things are really picking up around here, school-wise. There's only a few weeks left in the term, and let me tell you, do my professors keep reminding me about that. It's final project after final project, this one worth 50% of my grade, that one worth 40%, etc, etc. I have two final projects going in the same class, not quite sure how that works, but hey, if it makes my prof happy, right? I'm just trying to keep my head above water, so things may be light around here for a while.

Crazy weekend nearly completed

Although crazy for reasons other than the anticipated ones.

My date didn't happen last night. I canceled it. It's kind of a long story as to why, and I don't feel like going into it right now, and I also don't know how much I am at liberty to divulge. Suffice it to say that I spent yesterday evening and last night alternating between numbness and tears. My real family is fine, but my school family is not.

(Pish, I'll try to call again today. And when I said you were an old friend, I meant old as in I've known you for like 10 years, nearly half of both our lives, not old numerically.)

Crazy Weekend Ahead

Right now I'm on the phone with my cousin. I did laundry today, but I didn't have enough quarters to use the dryers so my clothes are festooning my room, and my jeans probably will not be dry by tomorrow. Which means a skirt for tomorrow. At least it won't be Wednesday, my long day in which I walk at least five miles.

Two friends coming into town, one of whom is coming tomorrow and staying with me, the other coming Friday and staying elsewhere. Also, a roommate's friend's girlfriend is coming Saturday and staying with us for a week. Don't even get me started on how thrilled I am about that.

Thursday is research project meeting, work, photography night class and visiting friends. Oh, and studying.

Friday is girls night, per usual. Before that, however, I have to take a chemistry exam. At least I understand this section.

Saturday morning I'm going to a Mary Kay party with a friend. Saturday day I have a phone date with an old friend. Saturday night, I have a date. A real one. With a boy. A boy who I like even.

Sunday is the usual church, etc.

Sometime in there I have to hang out with my friends who are coming into town, do homework (research results are starting to come in! Ack!), do some photography for my final photography projects, and watch some Gilmore Girls. Actually, I don't have to watch some Gilmore Girls, but I will. I got season 7. Of course I will.

Watch this

Then go watch this (sorry, I can't get it to embed)

Beautiful, eh? I think that's my new favorite song.

Today I...

• will be spending 10+ hours straight on campus. If decided that I get too distracted when I go home and try to study. My bed calls to me, my roommates want to talk, my roommates want to drive me crazy, etc. I got to work at 8am, and I don't need to be home till around 7:30.
• am wearing the shoes I wore in my cousins' wedding in 2004. I wore them that day and haven't worn them since. I thought they were the ugliest shoes and couldn't figure out why I couldn't have cute ones. I don't know why I didn't donate them, but now I'm glad I didn't. I found them over Christmas in one of my boxes and brought them back with me. They looked like new, and have become cute to my eyes, and they're very comfortable. Unfortunately, I've already scraped the toe when I biffed it by catching the heel on a crack. Stupid me, not looking where I'm going.
• will stop the Ebay binge I got on this weekend. I've won some great stuff and I should be winning more good stuff, but I really can't quite afford it. Won: vintage 60's brown wool coat in perfect condition (99 cents, plus $6 shipping), saddle shoes like I've always wanted, new in box, vintage, and some other stuff. Bidding on: shoes, vintage jewelry
• need to request my final grant from the state of California that I earned in high school so I can pay my rent for the rest of the year (or at least through the summer)
• need to do my FAFSA so I can go to school in the fall
• need to start finding a job for the summer
• am having tacos for dinner with my fhe group