More of that crazy Ridgecrest storm

These pictures are my grandpa's jeep parked in front of my aunt and uncle's house (between the stake center and Downs). Sorry about my fascination with the flood, but honestly, I have never seen or even heard of this much water there.

Remember Me?

In honor of the one year anniversary of Talking Back, I thought I'd play a little game I found on my friend's blog. (Thanks Sharon!) Here's the rules:

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

B came back!

B came back yesterday. He told me not to expect him for a month, but yesterday I was at his place watching a movie with his roommates, thinking about how it's weird to be there without him, and the door walking, and this guy comes in, and it's B! We didn't get the chance to talk for several hours after he got home, I had a really long, stupid, boring, meeting, and then plans to go to the pool with his roommate, and B came with us, and then we went for one of our walks. We had a really good talk, and things are back to normal. Better than normal. We both like each other, and we both know the other likes us, but, neither of us are 100% sure where we want to take our relationship (especially him, I have some idea, but I'm kind of letting him take the reins). We both really value our friendship, and whatever happens, we're very good friends, and probably going to be for a very long time (hopefully). Therefore, we are officially taking things one day at a time, and we'll see what happens.

The best part about last night, other than the fact that we're completely unawkward again, was when I asked him why he came back so soon, and he told me all this stuff about how visiting his best friend was nothing like he expected, and they probably won't be friends anymore because of some of the things he was doing and pushing B to do, and he was just really uncomfortable and decided to come back. I told him I was glad he came back, and he kind of got this sheepish grin and looked at me and said, "Well, I thought about going home to Oregon, but I really wanted to talk to you and spend time with you." He came back because of me!

Home Sweet Desert?

Ridgecrest, CA
Average annual rainfall: 3.69 inches
July 20, 2008 rainfall: 1.5 inches





I have NEVER heard or seen this much water in Ridgecrest in a single month, let alone a single day. As far as I know, all of my family down there are okay. I know a lot of you readers are from Ridgecrest, how are your families and homes?

things that annoy me, but don't seem to bother others

• When people don't replace the toilet paper roll when they finish it. If almost bothers me more when they just put the new roll on the back of the toilet. Finish the job, people!
• When people take out the trash and don't replace the garbage bag.
• Finishing a tube of lip gloss. Especially a favorite one.
• People who take no care in their appearance.
• Paper cuts
• Excessive PDA, especially in front of kids
• Excluding people
• Moving
• New roommates
• Indecision (although I'm like the worst decision maker ever, at least for the smaller things)
• Plucking my eyebrows.

B

He likes me! He likes me! He likes me! But...he needs some time to think. He's taking the next few weeks, up to 7, to take a break pretty much from life and do some pondering and make some decisions, and then we'll see. I wrote him pretty much the letter below, some alterations to accommodate things that happened the last couple days, and this was the response, albeit from his roommate, because he left before I'm usually up in the morning (back up, after work), and he didn't want to wake me. He's supposed to call or email me soon to tell me himself, and I'm supposed to act surprised, because although B didn't specifically tell his roommate not to tell me, he probably wouldn't be too overjoyed.

What I Need to Say to You

Dear B,

There's a lot I need to say to you right now, but when I'm with you, I can't say it. Actually, it's not that I can't say it, but that I don't want to because I enjoy your company so much I don't want to make things uncomfortable or awkward by breaking our silence and telling you all of this. But I need to tell you some things, because you not knowing, or me not knowing if you know, when everybody else we spend time with seems to have noticed (can you really be that unobservant?), is getting old and uncomfortable for me.

I like you, B. As more than just a friend. I enjoy your company. I love how we can walk forever and not talk, and not have it be uncomfortable and weird. I like the way you think of things that strike you as funny and you just laugh, and don't worry about whether anyone else knows what you're laughing about. I love the joy you find in the smallest, most random things. And I love your eyes and your smile. I like that I can cry in front of you (Thank you, by the way. I never thanked you for your kindness over Fourth of July weekend, but I really appreciated it--still do.). I feel like I can talk to you if I need someone to talk to, or just be with you when I need some company but don't want to talk. I think it's incredibly sweet that you walk with me when you probably have more important or interesting or entertaining things you could be doing. And the fact that you like to cook and are so good at it is amazing. Your passion for your music, and your sheer talent amaze me. You make me feel special and interesting (even when I don't say a word) and valuable.

I'm not asking you to like me back. Goodness knows I haven't done anything to deserve it. Even if you do like me, I'm not asking for anything to happen. I know you are a very private person, and it seems to take a long time to get close to you. I also recognize that we're kind of at different stages in our lives, which doesn't really bother me, but it might bother you. But I needed to tell you, and I think you deserved to hear it from me before someone else said something unmistakable. I want to be your friend more than anything else, so I hope this doesn't change our friendship for the worse. All I ask is this, if you feel the same I do, and if you want to further our relationship, please do something or say something to indicate so. I don't want to keep trying to make you notice me if you don't care.

I'm really going to miss you while you're gone for the break. Can we still go for walks when you come back?

Thanks for listening (reading?),
Rachael

Now if I can just work up the courage to give this letter to you. Or actually talk to you about this in person. That would be even better.

Sweet Right Here

I've had an absolutely amazing last couple days. Yes, B was involved. It was incredible. We're making serious progress, but unfortunately we only have a little bit of time left until we don't see each other for over a month. Neither of us are big on the phone, in fact, we don't even have each other's phone numbers, so it might be hard to keep in touch, putting us way way back when he comes back. My favorite thing about B? The fact that we can talk and talk and talk, but we can also spend hours together all alone and not say a word, it's completely comfortable, and I come away feeling like we had a great conversation.

Today, however, I get to spend most of the day with my brother-in-law-to-be. He has some things he needs to do that require the use of a car (including taking the skills test to get his driver's licence (no, he doesn't have one)), and since he doesn't get to touch my car (except to take his test) (and sit in it, I suppose), I get to ferry him around all day. But, this evening will be spent with B, which is a great reward, in my opinion.

I wasn't tagged, but I wanted to do this anyways :D

The rules: Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

What was I doing ten years ago?

• Let's see. 1998. I was 12. So, summer between 6th and 7th grades. Fighting with my parents over whether or not I should be home schooled for 7th grade. They said yes, I said no, they won the battle, but I won the war! I got contacts. Went to my first year of church camp. The one year we had cabins and running water. And a pool filled with ladybugs.

What are five (non-work) things on my to-do list for today:

1. (how about tomorrow since today's pretty much done) Madison Library
2. Call my mom
3. Clean out from under my bed
4. Go through my closet and get rid of some stuff hopefully
5. See the boy

Five Snacks I Enjoy:

1. Carrots with Hidden Valley Light Ranch
2. Air-pop popcorn with butter and lots of salt
3. Dark Chocolate Peanut M&Ms
4. French Fries
5. Ants on a Log

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

1. Pay off my school debt and pay for my MA and PhD
2. Pay off my and my parents' debts
3. Donate to charity
4. Buy the most energy-efficient car possible
5. Make sure my siblings and cousins and future nieces and nephews are able to afford their college education

Places I have lived:

• San Diego, CA
• Ramona, CA
• Poway, CA
• Inyokern, CA
• Ridgecrest, CA
• Winnemucca, NV
• Rexburg, ID

Jobs I have had:

• Babysitter Extraordinaire
• Maid
• Gold Mine Intern (three summers)
• Interlibrary Loan Assistant
• Market Researcher
• Janitor

Five people who should post this:

1. The
2. Five
3. People who
4. Read
5. This

about a boy

The last week has been crazy. I've had deleriously happy times, and times where I was in the deepest thros of sadness. I have been incredibly blessed by my friends this week, and their support and kindness to me as I grieved for the loss of my baby cousin Gregory. One friend in particular, Brian, has gone above and beyond the call of friendship. He has let me cry on his shoulder, literally, gone after me when I left gatherings in tears, searched for me when I left church sobbing and vanished for over an hour, walked with me without trying to make me talk so I wouldn't be alone while I cried and asked why, and done everything he could to make me happier. He's gone on walks with me, cooked me dinner (oh my goodness, he makes the best pancakes I've ever had!), taken me for rides on his motorcycle, named tadpoles things like Fluffy and Ghengis Frog, taken me to play on the swings at the park, and so much more. He has made my worst moments better, and been the source of most of my best moments. The point of this is, I think I'm falling in love (I was before this week, but now I really am), and my friends assure me that the amount of love he's shown to me this past week is more than even a best friend would give. He's wonderful. Sweet, thoughtful, cute, intelligent. incredibly talented, and silence is as comfortable with him as a good conversation.

The only problem? He's 19. Which actually doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would.

Happy Fourth of July!

Have an absolutely fablous day! Celebrate with all the vigor and vim and excitement you can muster, but please, for the love of all that is good in the world, please don't paint your house like this:

And please, don't feel the need to dress like this:

or this:

Although, I must admit, I've dressed in many similar costumes myself. (Andrea, I feel a rousing recital of the Fourth of July Program coming on.)

July Sucks

My cousins Chris and Trish (Chris is my cousin, Tricia is his wife) had a baby boy this morning. Unfortunately, it lived only a couple of hours. He had a genetic disorder having something to do with the blood. I don't know all the details. But I know that Chris and Trish and the rest of their family are struggling with this shock and loss. I'm upset myself, but I'll be fine once I realize I won't have a new cousin to meet when I go home next month. Please keep Chris and Trish in your thoughts and prayers.

It's four years ago next week that my uncle died. One year ago we were evacuated from our house because of wildfires. Everything bad that happens to my family happens in July.

things from yesterday and this morning

• Listening to the radio this morning at work, the station was, I swear, having "Rachael, these are your memories" hour. I'm mopping a floor at 4:30 in the morning, and smiling and laughing to myself at songs by the likes of the Backstreet Boys, Destiny's Child, Bryan Adams, Blink 182, even the Spice Girls and that Hey Yeah song from senior year.
• This video went straight to my animal loving heart
  
• I've been playing a lot of Frisbee with some friends this week. Every night, several hours, same four people. It looks like we're on a double date. I'm actually getting half decent! I'm also developing bruises all over from where the disc hits me when I'm spacing out (which is frequently) or just unable to catch it with my hands (even more frequently). We also have been hitting the swings when all four of them are available, having contests to see who can get the highest. My friend who's a boy started pushing me last night, and "under-dogged" me. It was the weirdest thing, I haven't been pushed on a swing since I learned to pump